是否

是否这次我将真的离开你
是否这次我将不再哭
是否这次我将一去不回头
走向那条漫漫永无止境的路
是否这次我已真的离开你
是否泪水已干不再流
是否应验了我曾说的那句话
情到深处人孤独
多少次的寂寞挣扎在心头
只为挽回我将远去的脚步
多少次我忍住胸口的泪水
只是为了告诉我自己
我不在乎!!

复杂的心情

有个学生问老师什么是爱情？老师就要他到田里去寻找一颗他自己认为最大最好的玉米，然后将它带回来，条件是他只有一次选择权，且只能往前走不能回头。学生遵命的稻田里去了，当他见到第一颗生长的非常漂亮的玉米时，他心里想。或许后面会有更好的等着他。于是他一直走，一直挑，到最后他发现自己再也找不到比第一颗玉米还要好的，结果他空手而回。【这就是爱情，你一路挑，一路走，一直期望能找到更好的，结果你可能变得一无所有】学生又问什么是婚姻？这一回老师要他带回稻米，而条件亦和之前一样。由于有了第一次教训，学生走到中途便选了一颗不好也不坏的稻米，带回给老师。老师说【这就是婚姻，爱情路上跌跌撞撞，让人学会选择。不好不坏，对那个学生而言或许是最好的。】【人永远不懂得珍惜身边所拥有的，却一直渴望着那未知的将来。等到伤痕累累，才明白什么才是自己所要的，最适合自己的】
这篇文章，我看了又看，读了又读，我不知道我现在的选择是对还是错，为什么这几天你都不找我？爱和被爱，你选择什么？爱情和现实只是一线之差，人家说被爱是幸福的，为什么我总觉得爱你才是幸福的呢？我一直在挣扎，所以我迟迟都不敢找你，我找不到一个答案。我也不敢拖着你。
也許愛情是一部憂傷の童話
♂放棄一個很愛你の人 並不痛苦♀
♂放棄一個你很愛の人 那才痛苦♀
♂愛上一個不愛你の人 那是更痛苦♀
♀逃避 不一定躲得過♂
♂面對 不一定最難過♀
♀孤單 不一定不快樂♂
♂得到 不一定能長久♀
♀失去 不一定不再擁有♂
★愛是一種是思念★?無論何時何地 當看不到她/她の時候會想念她/他
★愛也會是一種擔心★?當他/她出事の時候 你會比誰都著急
★愛是一種包容★?你會包容她/他所有の缺點 在你眼裡他/她永遠是最完美の
★愛更是一種回憶★?當你想起她/她做出可愛 浪漫の事時 會不知覺の傻笑
★覺得好甜蜜 好甜蜜★?你體會到了嗎 如果沒有就放棄 重新開始吧 祝福你

Thought

Sorry for late update, i have been busy b4 CNY till now...n seldom on9 to update blog, juz read few blog n check mail, but tis few days, i have a very bad mood, for quite a long period, i have a messy mind, i got no idea wat shud i do for next, my decision might hurt some1, i noe u will hate me alot n alot, mayb u wont forgive me, or u wont take me as ur fren anymore. the oni thgs i can say is sorry, but i noe u wont accept it, but i noe i need to walk out from this, if not my life will not b a happi life. Recently, especially midnite, when i listening to music, my tears will drop down, my mind will turn somethg out, that makes me feels bad, n cry badly.
i hope n wish all this bad feeling will end up 1 day, so that i can alwiz stay smiling:)
New year New life!!!

life..

Now is 3.35am 29 Dec 2008, 2 more days den new year, wat have to done for the past few months??虚度光阴? wat i have learn???wat hard tat i have been to?? wat ppl tat i meet b4...

today i bac home at 2.30am 29 Dec, go sing k with frens, after the k i feel so empty in my own, i nearly wanna cry out, but luckily my fren make me laugh so tat i din cry out, i so disappointed after i heard somethg from others, really...but anyway non of my business ady, so i hav to learn to dun k too muc, so tat i can live more happily, yesterday morning around 2 am, i chatting with bao ge, he is goin to married tis coming tuesday, wish him have a wonderful marriage life...he is quite a easygoin person, n a person tat nice to tok with. laz nite he tell me a quote make me feel meaningful - change another 'degree' den u will c somethg diff...yeah, i need to c a thgs with many diff degree so tat i can c whole incident...and many thgs have many way to be happen..n many reason.diff 'dimension' is diff from 1 another..God, please help me to get more n more understand my self...help me to improve myself in diff ways...thanks God for listen to my prayer, in Jesus name Amen...

i bac home late, nearly no door to come in ar, suddenly feel so scare when i not in house, nearly wan cry out, no ppl is accompany me, den when i m realy down and suddenly feel that my family and sweet home is the best way to hide from those stupid annoying thgs...home sweet home...

silent nite of 2008, i feel peaceful, calm is in my heart, tis year, can say is 'lonely' christmas, pass few years, i will celebrate with my special 1, but tis year is quite alone, but luckily, my church frens, my gang of frens ask me out to celebrate together so that i wont feel so lonely,actually i wish tat u could stay with me, i miss u, really miss u, but....anyway, i noe ur hard...mayb i need to be more understanding...sorry to bring so muc trouble to u..sorry, but i juz wan to let u noe tat i miss u..

i get mad today~

sometimes really fed up with my job, seems like everythg is my job, today still wan scold by contractor, wat o??i wan meeting, i need to do booking, i need to pick up phone lagi, wan count those worker de salary and every week need to advance, walao le, u tot i superman??if got custoemr i need to help to check in n out, need to collect laundry, need to pick up customer phone in midnite,even sleep liao also need to settle customer prob!!!!ppl work from 9 to 5 everyday, me??from 8 to no time limit!!ppl work 6 days per week i need to work everyday!! sienz, if i need to work when holiday i need to scold by dad lagi, ' u earn 3 to 4k issit??need to work when ppl is rest! ' i will get their advance late coz i having meeting, i need to do my thgs, u muz let me noe earlier...so tat we do thgs not in rush!!no ppl noe my hard!!today i really get mad to uncle, but after it, i feel so sorry to him, but i need ppl to understand me oni ma...not hard rite???

mmm...

bad mood bad mood bad mood!!!
blur blur and blur!!
wat shud i do next??
i lost myself!!

i need to noe myself all from the start!!
i duno wat m i doin!!
i have long time dun have tis feeling,
i hate it!!

tired tired and tired!!!